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Why I Unfollowed My Real Friends on Instagram
With a little intention, you can make Instagram a tool that supports your mental health
It took me a while to realize it, and then to accept it, but following my friends on Instagram makes me feel shitty.
I can be having an otherwise very lovely and relaxing day until I see a photo of my friends on a grand adventure, or having a raucous hangout, or anything that seems better than what I am currently doing. Then, I start to feel lazy, boring, left out, or otherwise inadequate. Knowing what everyone else is doing at all times makes it hard to enjoy the present and feeds the comparison monster that I suspect lurks within most millennials.
Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” has been the battle cry of my late twenties. Yet, it’s taken years to fully take action against the sneaky ways that comparison creeps into my life.
I stopped posting photos to the platform almost two years ago, aware that I didn’t like the feeling of curating my life, always seeking approval and validation from others. I didn’t want to delete the app altogether though, as it had been a critical tool for me in recovering from disordered eating.
I started to follow more and more educators, and my feed became dominated by opportunities to learn and relate. Ironically, given the myriad ways that social media has lead to collective psychological suffering, I used Instagram as a tool to support my mental health and to educate myself.
As my feed became more of a learning tool, I became increasingly aware of the reality that looking at posts from friends did not support my mental health. I’ve moved a lot, and seeing posts from friends at home made it hard to fully embrace my new location. When I saw them, I doubted my choices and yearned for the comforts of my former city.
You might be following people for reasons that don’t serve you
It wasn’t easy to start unfollowing these people I love. Unfollowing my friends felt weird, I like being privy to the happenings of their lives. Yet, I now recognize that desire as perverse. It produced a net negative outcome.
